Rashmi's Lost Tranquility-A Path To Emotional Riviera..

She Slept With A Stranger...

2011-12-28T20:24:00.000-08:00

She-
???
An Indian girl. Pious. Dutiful. Always in strict surveillance of Parents- Not allowed to speakwith any boy...
Beautiful-tall, slim, fair, convent educated.
Always tutored to be morally upright..
Who is she?
She is a rough image of an Indian girl of twenty years back or so...
Suddenly she is catapulted into an arena of wedlock and asked to sleep with a man who she doesn't know....had never talked with..never seen...
She tries-It is her duty.
They talk for the first time on bed when 'HIS' pair of hungry hands frantically frets over her 'body'- She is just a material! She feels absurd....
How can she respond like a sexy doll?
But she tries..(though no lesson of this kind was given to her except what she had gathered from her friends-with whom too she could not meet very often)
Her mind goes blank-but she tries and keeps on trying but 'HE' blames her for not 'LOVING' him...
'Loving' or 'making love...' She was again confused....
But she was pious..
He doesn't believe..
He thinks her to be putting a'coy' act just to misguide him that she was chaste!
'How a convent educated, beautiful girl had no lovers?' he asks and roars in a laughter...
Her life shrinks...
Shrinks forever..
The perennial laughter dries..
He blamed her for not loving him..
She again gets confused..
But she was not even allowed to touch a man?
How can she have lovers?"...
She pleads...
He makes sex and sex and leaves her langusishing...
Years passed by...
She lives with the same man.....
BUT SHE REGRETS...
WHY DID SHE SLEEP WITH A STRANGER?
WHY NOT WITH HER LOVER?
SHE AGAIN GETS CONFUSED AND GOES TO SLEEP WITH HER CHILDREN....
rashmi
JOIN ME HERE:
http://www.facebook.com/Rashmii.S

I Do Not Love You...

2011-11-25T19:28:00.000-08:00

I want you to hold my hand- just hold clasping tight...
Lock my fingers in yours with eyes locked forever...
I do not love you-I worship you..
You are my faith and nothing else...
Helping me rise after every fall...

Take me away from selfish winds
Scorching my soul-
throwing on rugged path....
Bless me with strength and nothing else
I do not love you-I worship you...
MY FAITH...
rashmi

Love's Journey On Printsasia.com N.Y. U.S.A.

2011-11-16T23:48:00.001-08:00

READ THE MOST UNUSUAL LOVE SAGA:

http://www.printsasia.com/book/Love-s-Journey-An-Unusual-Saga-of-Dreams-Love-and-Faith-Overpowering-Seasons-of-Deceit-and-Lust-8122312012-9788122312010?utm_source=AuthorRashmiSingh_BookButton&utm_medium=AuthorRashmiSingh_BookButton&utm_campaign=AuthorRashmiSingh_BookButton%22%3EBuy

A Scratched Feel

2011-11-15T18:37:00.000-08:00

A Scratched Feel

A breath...A sigh...A restlessness..
Who am I?
Scratched feelings-unknown paths...
Who am I?
This is no poem, only feelings... feelings rushing out...
I look back and am shocked... God too tests us...
Or is he still testing?.
I hold the glass brimming with love..

Is it love...or a trap ?
Laced with poison....
I taste it slowly turning blue...
Weakening nerves in frenzied revelry...
'The poison' gripping senses...
I get up and walk but fall...
Bruising soul ....
Oh hold me my friend-
I want to sleep....
sleep forever
Beckoning morning...
Beckoning life...
rashmi.

REAL LIFE PROBLEMS: DISCUSS AND BE HAPPY!

2011-10-08T21:33:00.000-07:00

When everything goes according to our wish, we don;t know the meaning of STRUGGLE/SUCCESS!

When we get LOVE in LIFE-We don't realise its importance!

WE HAVE TO BE DEFEATED TO WIN-WINNING ALONE DOES NOT SATIATES THE SOUL!

But I know it is difficult- very difficult to conquer negativism.

TO DISCUSS YOUR REAL LIFE PROBLEMS, CONTACT ME :)

AT: rrashmi211@gmail.com

CHEER UP!

http://www.facebook.com/Rashmii.S

rashmi.

Love's Journey - Crossword.in

2011-09-03T03:23:00.000-07:00

THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF FB LIKES SECURED BY ANY BOOK AT CROSSWORD BOOKSTORE- NUMBER 1 BOOKSTORE OF INDIA.

Love's Journey - Crossword.in

Love's Journey

2011-07-31T19:51:00.000-07:00

Love's Journey

LOVE'S JOURNEY'S RELEASE PICS AT GYMKHANA CLUB BY FARIDABAD METRO

2011-07-06T19:48:00.000-07:00

Love's Journey's release pics by Faridabad Metro-The leading online news portal of Faridabad

CLICK THE LINK FOR PICS:

http://faridabadmetro.com/2011/05/30/rashmi-singhs-book-loves-journey-book-released-at-zymkhana-club-sector-15-in-faridabad/

TO BUY LOVE'S JOURNEY, WITH THE OPTION OF PAYING CASH ON DELIVERY GO TO:

http://www.flipkart.com/books/8122312012?ref=423b3f5b-4b66-44be-86f6-c8d2fc290f53

LOVE'S JOURNEY

2011-07-04T19:34:00.000-07:00

The shooting began next day with Jennifer and Jay involved in their respective roles. Time and again, Jay was continuously leering at Jennie with eagle eyes. His plans weren’t working

and he was not successful in deviating Jennie emotionally, even after repeated efforts – trying all unfair means . . . He had applied all the techniques to trap her once again. He insinuated, mouthed filthy words, unnecessarily prolonged the kissing scenes, biting into her lips, which undoubtedly he relished. Jennifer was tolerating all this for Shambhu’s sake – she, in any circumstance, didn’t want to prove that his choice of heroine was wrong. On the other hand, Shambhu, though knew Jay very well, would often shout at her, “Chemistry, Jennie chemistry, how is the film going to be a success if there is no chemistry between you two”, “Pant, go sexy, make your voice husky and go wild all over his body to seduce him-remember this is just an act and the story requires that you use your luscious body to get out the secret of the mission he is pursuing.”For Shambhu, his film, his baby was more important than any other relationship, hence he was termed as the Icon. Not that he loved Jennifer less but definitely he loved his creation more . . .

For Jennie previously there were only bed scenes as she could carry them out impeccably. Bed scenes or scenes of the same frequency with Jay now went beyond her mental comprehension. She too was confused. Isn’t that once she had loved him very much, so now why isn’t she able to surface those feelings for the sake of putting a good act . . . why? . . . why isn’t she successful? ‘God give me strength and courage to brave this lecher,’ she thought trying to please her Director Shambhu who never mixed his personal relationship with Business, but in Aryan’s case, only in Aryan’s case Jennie had noticed that his self-made rules were relaxed. This kind of relaxation wasn’t even offered to her, therefore on the sets he was always chiding her for imperfect love scenes!@Love's Journey

TO BUY IN INDIA: PAY CASH ON DELIVERY http://www.flipkart.com/books/8122312012?ref=423b3f5b-4b66-44be-86f6-c8d2fc290f53

TO BUY ONLINE:1. http://www.bookshopofindia.com/search.asp?action1=default&bookid=9083698

2. http://bookbazaarindia.com/book_details.php?bookid=22844

TO BUY ebook on AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/LOVES-JOURNEY-ebook/dp/B0055MGHVE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1309832914&sr=8-1

TO LIKE THE PAGE OF THE THIS BOLD NOVEL:http://www.facebook.com/pages/Loves-Journey/144234218983030

A RACY EXTRACT: Love's Journey by Rashmi Singh/Pustak Mahal Publishers

2011-06-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

I can pay your expenses done on me by . . . by sleeping with you,” she ripped open her frock from the neck down to her belly, blurting out and shouting at him. Her pearly breasts half covered with a pink lacy bra exposed to Vasan’s full view. ‘Oh Jesus, What have I done!’ She had something else to speak

but didn’t know from where all these came spontaneously, in a fit of anger, from her mouth. Jennie stood there dumbfounded,waiting to be ordered to pack her bags immediately and leave.Her face was still red as beetroot with the outburst, but now as the realisation of the act dawned on her, the colour changed from red to white – yes she was dead sure her end in this house had come with the sudden unexpected blast of hers.

Shambhu stood stupefied and dumbstruck. Nobody had ever spoken to him in his entire life like this and now this girl, the girl who, only two months back, was just another extra, being howled at by him, was having the courage to speak up to him like this. But wasn’t Shambhu responsible for all this? How would Jennie react when she will come to know that whatever he is doing is just to cover up his own mistake? A game which had started on a fun note would end messing up a girl’s life – making it miserable. How can he tell her that he had made a bet with Jay Kumar, in the outdoor shoot of Manali,

to show if he can trap the latest newcomer of his production house.Actually, Shambhu was almost assured that in no ways Jennie will be a victim of Jay’s poisonous fake love. Maya, who had brought her to him, had strictly asked Shambhu to take careof her as she belonged to a good family. But after a couple of drinks one night, he made.........TO KNOW MORE

BUY ON AMAZON:http://www.amazon.com/LOVES-JOURNEY-ebook/dp/B0055MGHVE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1309049224&sr=8-1

BUY IN INDIA ONLINE/PAY CASH ON DELIVERY(WHEN THE BOOK IS DELIVERED AT YOUR DOORSTEP):http://www.flipkart.com/books/8122312012?ref=423b3f5b-4b66-44be-86f6-c8d2fc290f53

BUY FROM PUSTAK MAHAL PUBLISHERS ONLINE:http://www.pustakmahal.com/books/book/love-s-journey-rashmi-singh/isbn-9788122312010/zb,,4ef,a,0,INR,0,a/index.html

TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE NOVEL LIKE THE PAGE AND VISIT: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Loves-Journey/144234218983030

Love's Journey by Rashmi Singh published by Pustak Mahal(Cedar Books)

2011-06-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

MY NOVEL "LOVE'S JOURNEY", NOW IS ALSO AVAILABLE ON KINDLE AT AMAZON. FOREIGN READERS WILL HAVE NOW NO PROBLEM IN HAVING THE GOOD READ!!

VISIT AMAZON AND GET THE e-book

http://www.amazon.com/LOVES-JOURNEY-ebook/dp/B0055MGHVE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1308190092&sr=8-1

Love's Journey-Cedar Books, Pustak Maha Publishers Available!l

2011-05-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

Hi Readers

My debut novel 'Love's Journey' is available on http://www.flipkart.com/b/books/love-s-journey-rashmi-singh-book-8122312012?ref=423b3f5b-4b66-44be-86f6-c8d2fc290f53

You can follow the link below to have a peep on the wall L.J.

Read a sample chapter here:http://www.pustakmahal.com/books/book/love-s-journey-rashmi-singh/isbn-9788122312010/zb,,4ef,a,0,INR,0,a/index.html

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Loves-Journey/144234218983030

rashmi

Love's Journey- By End Of May-Cedar Books, Pustak Mahal

2011-05-11T19:27:00.000-07:00

Hi Readers

Please go through the link below and have apeep into my debut novel

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Loves-Journey/144234218983030

rashmi.

Nor Ever To Go With The Wind!

2011-01-28T21:40:00.000-08:00

A THOUGHT

My Feelings-My Passion..
My feelings are my passion-ever growing-ever blossoming..So is my faith.....
My faith is my friend , my close one...my faith, which is never ever going to die or diminish......

Seasons come and go but feelings though may have a bad patch or rough weather,

Will always stay as they have been there from Three Millions Years........

My feelings- MY CANVAS........
My dreams- MY COLORS........

This is my faith......from million years twinkling like million stars in my heart.......

My faith which is here to stay......

NOR EVER TO GO WITH THE WIND..........

rashmi.

FRAGMENTS-NO MORE SWEET MISTAKES AGAIN!

2011-01-06T05:14:00.000-08:00

FRAGMENTS.......

Why Do We Trust People...

Why do we trust people and repeat our mistakes...Why can't we see their hidden faces...

Why do they come back in our lives only to play foul....It is said ,"Once bitten-Twice Shy.."But still we don't understand or want to understand.....".

Why do people say,"I am always with you", and very conveniently forget,while the one who has been promised , just holds on to that moment of "trust"........

But I want to tell all those who have been cheating or neglecting their near and dear ones..."the real losers are they themselves but not the ones with whom they are playing games!"

REALIZATION....

Going for my routine puja of "Thursday" I found the world so beautiful..God always be there with us....And with them who stay in our hearts.....near or far!.

The Huge Peepal And The Banyan tree ,while going around them. taught me ...hidden meaning of life......

I touched ,sensed, felt their huge magnanimity and benevolence....so many people offering them "jal" and other , even and odd puja material ,not required ... but still they accept without any complaints...

The trees taught me to be patient,calm and composed in moments of crises..accepting whatever comes your way but not letting it harm you....AND ALSO TAUGHT TO ACCEPT SWEETS WITH LOVE BUT NOT TO LET IT HARM YOU ......

Few lines of Rudyard Kipling from the poem "If" really helped ...

"If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

........

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

.........

If you can wait and not be tired be waiting,

..........

If you can dream-and not make dream your master;

If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim......"

READ A MAGICAL POEM OF MINE
THE DREAM IS MINE........
http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2010/07/dream-is-mine.html

rashmi.

Why Life Why..UNFORGETTABLE SCARS!

2010-12-19T06:17:00.000-08:00

WHY LIFE WHY?..... AN ENTRY FROM MY PERSONAL DIARY!
Nineteenth December,2010

As I reach out to catch you,why do you always deceive me life.?..Not once but so many a times! I don't even have time to complain-actually you don't give me time..you have tied me down to such responsibilities that,I can't even weep at my miseries and pain! My mom passed away but you did not allow me to attend her funeral as you thought ,I was lucky enough to see her pale, tranquilized dead body,out of the chains of painful bondage! You thought,this was a big gift to me as you had once made me to attend my father's funeral but had stopped me from having the last look as my train got delayed by hours and hours...... You thought I was lucky enough to fly down to see my mom's cold ,serene lifeless body, longing my last looks... So attending the funeral was useless...thankfully the Plane was not delayed and I was lucky enough to afford the ticket(but ironically with a return ticket of the same day)!!

So many times affection too beckoned me but just to tantalize me..no sooner did I think it to be a drop of holy water, it turned out to be putrid deadly droplets............

Can you explain me life,why do you always play games with me?Don't I too deserve a pearl from the million shiny beads in your ocean of happiness!

Now when I have feathers to fly, I don't have a Destination! Now when I have cut the chains, I don't have the shoulders, where I can run rest my throbbing head! Can't you for a while turn the clock back and give my Destination along with my Feathers! I wish you could do so but I know you can't!GO LIFE GO-I FORGIVE YOU! I AM MORE MAGNANIMOUS THAN YOU! BE HAPPY TO BE A MISER AND STINGY!

Image Source: http://photos.ibibo.com/photo/3911679/manns-lost-love-world

GO! BUT THOUGH I MIGHT FORGIVE YOUR GIFTED WOUNDS I WILL NEVER FORGET THE SCARS!
TO FEEL THE TRUTH OF THIS DIARY ENTRY,MUST READ:
http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2009/08/oceans-of-loneliness-standing-near.html

READ ANOTHER DIARY ENTRIES:

http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2010/08/scribbled-feelings-diary-entry.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Diary_of_Anne_Frank

rashmi.
Listen to the song below which has worked as a "HEALING TOUCH" for me!

Fragrance Fuming.......

2010-11-27T04:28:00.000-08:00

Roses Intoxicating Fiercely
Wildly Wooing
Passion Simulating Sensually

Fragrance Fuming.........

Whispers Whining Softly
Loving Lushly
Dreams Dancing Ardently

Fragrance Fuming......

rashmi.
Visit:
http://living.oneindia.in/expressions/fragrance-love.html

http://www.artbabyart.com/books/book5.htm

I Found You Very Close!

2010-11-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

I Found You Very Close

Encompassing, Nourishing,Nuzzling
Embracing Humble Heart

Strengthening Senses....

I Found You Very Close
Caressing Sleeping Soul
Cradling Nervous Nerves

Strengthening Senses.....

Yes, LIFE, I Found You Very Close
Inking Inquisitive Eye
Outstretching Longing Arms

Strengthening Senses...

FOR HEALING TOUCH VISIT:
http://www.beautiful-women-of-god.com/Beautiful-woman-of-God-confession.htm

FEW LINES FROM THE ABOVE LINK

I surrender all disappointments, fears, and misunderstandings to the Lord. Forgetting those things that are behind and laying aside every sin and weight that easily entangles me, I press on to the high prize of being a woman of God

rashmi.

Sepulchering The Past....

2010-11-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

Moving Ahead In Life
Forgetting And Forgiving
The Past Which
Never Was Mine...

Rummaging Broken Memories
Burying And Mummifying
The Past Which
Never Was Mine....

Embalming, Enshrining Moments
Breathing And Sepulchering
The Past Which
Never Was Mine.....

http://hubpages.com/hub/Moving-Forward-A-poem

rashmi.

JANG BAHADUR THAPA-MISSING YOU..STILL LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

2010-10-17T19:38:00.000-07:00

A TRIBUTE TO MY DOG-MY LIFE

"Jangu"..."Jangu"..."Where are you?","Come Here...Sit..I say sit...don't move...C'mon sit here..right here!" A little girl in a frilled frock ordering a giant Alsatian Dog seemed happy with her life and amazingly the giant too was lovingly following all the orders behaving like a mouse! love dripped from the giant's eyes as he panted and played with girl!

Getting ready for school, the girl was constantly ordering GIANT JANGU OR RATHER JANG BAHADUR THAPA as her brother had named him..."Jangu, bringgg my shoes,I am getting late for school and Jangu would come running and panting to the girl with the shoes hung by their laces,securely in his teeth.After getting ready for her school,the girl would carry her schoolbag and happily join her bunch of buddies, waiting for her to walk along the school ,forgetting totally about the giant but the giant always had plans to follow her up to the school.A chaos among her mates would suddenly, after a while make her realize that Mr.Jangu was following-she then ,angrily would shout at the top of her voice.."JANGUUU, MOVE,GO AWAY!!" And Jangu would pretend , not to be following her-he would start looking some other side feigning as if he was out for some other errand! BUT HIS LOVE FOR THE LITTLE GIRL COULD BE SEEN IN HIS ANIMAL EYES!

After school forgetting all the "morning showdown", the girl would barge into her house shouting,"JANGU..JANGU..AND JANGU ALWAYS READY TO PLAY WITH HER START RUNNING ALL ACROSS THE BIG HOUSE! Without Jangu her life was unimaginable,he would wag his tail non stoppingly unless she walked towards the biscuit cans!! Then the biscuit game would commence-she raising the biscuits higher and higher-he balancing on his hind legs for hours to get his prize.

She remembered,he always sat near her study table,while she would do her homework,pretending to sleep.BUT his ever active ears sticking out and pupils under covered lids reacting at the slightest sound!

At times when she would be sick or feeling low,Jangu would sit quietly near her,trying to bridge the gap of humans and animals,understanding spread across his canine face.The same understanding was shown by him on the occasion of her marriage."janguuu, she had wailed, I am goingggg and she literally wept in his arms".A tear trickled down his eyes .The shehnai, flowers,cook,the continuous huslte bustle in the house assured him that the little princess who had grown into a beautiful girl,was going to leave him,as her other sisters had the left the house.

Drifting to the past ,reminiscences of college days again captured her mind.She remembered,how Jungu would even in her college days,follow her to college bus and while she would be busy chatting,laughing with her friends,he very stealthily would put half the giant body of his, inside the rickety bus ,searching and looking for her, to create a havoc and drive all the "dadas" supporting typical "Bihari Neta Moustache",out of their wits.The poor conductor, in a state of total amazement ,trembling unceasingly would shout,"Kiska kutta hai bhai"..."isse bahar karo...arrey bhai bus kaise chalegi!"And Janju being the clever animal would get down immediately,as his eyes met hers, back home,running ,showing his "track skills"!!!That day when she came back home from college,he was no where to be found as he knew,his punishment was definite.

After a while when he was assured the incident was forgotten by her,he would come very innocently and lick her feet ,put his front legs in her laps,while she was hanging on phone,as he would sense that she was talking to someone dear...and instead of being punished he would be hugged! Jangu really had his ways with her!!!!

BUT SHE LOST HIM.YES SHE LOST HIM.After her marriage,lots of cobwebs ,in the form of responsibilities had settled around her, and her dearest,lovable childhood friend was forgotten.Few months after when her husband left to join his training of his services,she visited her parents.The entire family encircled her except Jangu."Ma where is Jangu?".she questioned.Her Ma with a little hesitation replied that he had gone for vaccination."Moreover,he has become old and not keeping fit these days",she added."Oh!",she exclaimed but other things caught her attention and she started fooling around with her nephews,who were then in school.

THE PHONE CALL OF HER MA THE NEXT DAY SHATTERED HER COMPLETELY.She said,"Actually your arrival was sudden and unplanned","Jangu's dead body was lying in his room when you were here"."He had been poisoned by someone"."We did not want to disturb you as you were so close to him .After such a long time you had come to us for a few hours and we did not want to ruin your happiness",she furthered stated falteringly.

"Oh selfish she had been," how could she forget Jangu,who was not only her friend but also a mentor of her personality, teaching her loving ,caring, sharing, compassion, patience, forgiveness...and so more but nothing could be done then...she let it pass,however the vacuum left in her life by Jangu could never be patched.......she often remembered him in her silence and with every passing day, his memories became a shady grove for her,where she could rest peacefully from the "tortures of this selfish world"....Definitely Keats was right.."A thing of beauty is a joy forever..its loveliness increases..it never passes into nothingness" MISS YOU JANGU..........LOVE YOU.......
READ A RECENT NEWS OF CANINE LOVE AND CARE IN FAIRFAX,VIRGINIA
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/30/AR2010123004219.html

rashmi.

If I had All The Powers...

2010-09-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

If I Had All The Powers

Dancing always
to your tune
i took life
the way you gifted

Learning always
steps,not mine
i took life
the way you gifted

Braving always
missing not a beat
i took life
the way you gifted

But now staggering steps falter
Beats are out of tune
Panting breath descending
The once musical dune

Hold me in your arms
Refuging the tortured soul
If i had all the powers
Then then why would i come to you?

rashmi

MARRING MAIMED MEMORIES

2010-09-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

Marring Maimed Memories......

Stinking Silence Stinging
Digging muffled murmurs
Marring Maimed Memories.......

Bestial Barbarous Breathing
Gauging Murderous Moments

Marring Maimed Memories.......

Torturous Thoughts Tormenting
Crucifying Sweating Seconds
Marring Maimed Memories......

rashmi.

Life-A Second Chance!

2010-09-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

SECOND CHANCE

It knocked at my door
Silently
I tiptoed to it

Hushingly

I smiled at it
Knowingly

It looked once again at me
Lovingly

It stretched its arms
Longingly
I gave it a second chance
Understandingly!

rashmi.

Disillusioned Ruthlessly.....

2010-08-16T23:45:00.000-07:00

DISILLUSIONED RUTHLESSLY

This post is dedicated to those who are being continuously cheated on the paths of life-their plain,beautiful souls though tattered look forward to a beautiful life beckoning-tempting them once again to give it a second,maybe third or fourth chance! Do you agree?Should they?

Disillusioned Ruthlessly

Tattered Thoughts

Dripping Dreams
Beckoning Life.........

Disillusioned Ruthlessly
Battered Body
Stitching Senses

Beckoning Life.......

Disillusioned Ruthlessly
Wasted Vision
Fastening Faith

Beckoning Life...............

rashmi.

SCRIBBLED FEELINGS-A DIARY ENTRY by Priya.

2010-08-11T00:55:00.000-07:00

August 10,2010
11:05p.m

Scribbled Feelings

Whenever I read a line written by P.B.Shelly "I walk upon the thorns of life I bleed",I connect it to myself,thinking when I would be able to segregate myself from the thorns and sleep on a bed which may be not of flowers but least made of coir.......

I have tried badly, to take out the thorns and throw them away from my life forever but somehow they seem to sprout on my life and body again ,piercing and cutting it to pieces, giving lacerating pain which knows no bound-a pain which can only be felt by a person who suffers it.........

I know,there is a story in everyone's life but leading a blind life,doomed in catacombs,with not even a ray of hope makes my heart numb because I can see the thorns spreading its fangs towards my daughter.........
http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2009/08/oceans-of-loneliness-standing-near.html

My very small daughter who loves me and can not see tears in my eyes,is now battling the fangs and fighting the venomous spikes of these for my and her survival.........

God give her courage and strength to overcome the vicious ways of life and be a winner as Shelly has again quoted,"If winter comes can spring be far behind!".

Priya.

Another Diary Entry
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Diary_of_Anne_Frank

Love Is Magical-Feel It!

2010-07-31T08:30:00.000-07:00

Remembrance

It brings memories
intoxicating nights....
perfumed with rajnigandha
and jasmine blossoming in our hearts....
rashmi.

In The Oblivion.......

2010-07-29T22:37:00.000-07:00

Rage Ravenous Riding
Wishes Wistful Withering
Silent Soul Sinking

Surreptitiously In The Oblivion......

Heavens Hallucinating Heaving
Waves Wonderous Weeping
Fuming Feelings Fading

Surreptitiously In The Oblivion........

Body Blemished Blistering
Maimed Mind Merging

Lamed Love Languishing

Surreptitiously In The Oblivion..................

rashmi

My Senses Wander.

2010-07-15T00:59:00.000-07:00

My senses wander
Meandering the lakes
Brimming dreams..........

My senses wander
Loitering the cresses

Overflowing flowers............

My senses wander
Reaching the moonshine

Satiating passion.............

Yes my senses do wander
Dreaming the tales

Quenching emotions......

rashmi.

Never ,Nor Ever For You.............

2010-07-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

Don't wait for time
For it will wait
Never ,nor ever
For you...........

Walk alone
For they will walk
Never ,nor ever
With you.......
Don't weep your wounds
For they will heal
Never ,nor ever
For you........

Sleep on thorns
For bed of roses was
Never ,nor ever

For you.............

Don't try holding shadows

For they will hold back
Never ,nor ever

For you...................

rashmi

The Dream Is Mine

2010-07-01T01:57:00.000-07:00

The Dream Is Mine...

The Dream is mine
Let me paint it live....
Give my brushes back
Let the colors breathe........

See the ashen canvas
Weeping its fading fate......
Give my memories back

Let the paleness shine..........

The dream is mine
Let me dabble the rainbows.......
Give my palette back
Let the hues blush.......

rashmi.

One More Tryst With Destiny.

2010-06-24T04:56:00.000-07:00

GUNS AND ROSES

She always loved Roses-though she loved other flowers too but Roses intrigued her. For it not only intoxicated its beholders but also warned them that "Everything Beautiful Is Not So Easy To Possess"...This glorious species always fascinated her with its beauty,magnificence,splendor and aura! The thorns on the dainty branches continually attracted her attention. She often wondered how these protected the enchanting blossom proudly boasting its reign!!

Rocking in her armchair she went down the memory lane and thought of the years spent in her father's garden when she was only sixteen or seventeen years old.The Garden and the Fruit Orchard with different and unusual species of fruits and flowers was her favorite haunt. Sitting under the shade of a Mango tree, intoxicated with a scent which smelled like a fruit punch sweetened with blooms blossoming on plants collected and flown especially from all over India to be planted to this particular shade as this was her father's passion.

Though son of Rai Bahadur, Collector of Giridih and the surrounding areas in Bihar, her father a noble Rajput also held a Commanding and High Position with the Government.But still he never segregated himself from his roots....he always went to his hereditary land and massive farms to look after and nurtured them in his heart!

She took immense pride in her father's work, profession, nobility,stories of seven generations AND THE GUNS PRESENT IN ALMOST ALL THE ROOMS OF HER MASSIVE HOUSE.IN FACT SHE LITERALLY SLEPT ON ONE OF THEM.....her dainty hands would count the bullets kept in the drawers of her mother's dressing table ....sometimes she would take interest and examine them and curiously watched whenever the Rifles were cleaned .IN FACT ONCE SHE WAS ASKED TO FIRE THE FIRST "SHOT" OF HER BROTHER'S NEWLY ACQUIRED REVOLVER!!! She would often ask her mother as she was too afraid to do so to her father,its usage...a simple reply came,"It was a symbol of their nobility and moreover the guns were licensed" . She was ordered to keep to her studies-She would then take a novel mostly a romantic one as exhilarating , provocative ,rousing and perfumed as the Roses of her Father's garden.....Only one thing she could not understand, how a man with profound knowledge of literature,history ,science,flowers could be so attached to Guns-But gradually things seeped into her mind- GUNS WERE A SYMBOL- A MARK OF HIS FAMILY'S RAJPUTANA AURA just like his "Khansamas"(cooks), ancient family chandelier .....AND SO WERE HIS DAUGHTERS-She had no qualms as she knew whatever her father would do for her will be for her betterment and moreover from childhood she was tutored to take pride in her family, its decisions, its ancient glories BUT THEN SUDDENLY EVERYTHING WENT WRONG...........................

Suddenly without any prior warning she was swept off her feet by the most handsome,intelligent,well groomed Prince of her dreams-straight out of her romantic novel! It was almost a fairytale for her as she knew her Limitations- It was not that The Guns Terrified her but she was afraid about "him".The thorns protecting her could make him bleed profusely....She did not want the Guns to be aimed at him.... he had everything a girl could desire except the"caste"! Though he too belonged to an equally respectable family and a caste! Her tears became synonymous to dew drops on the blood red petals of the Roses of her father's Garden-Then she realised,she too was only a Rose protected by vicious thorns,waiting for its petals to wither.......The Ghosts of Guns Had Killed the Roses Blooming In Her Heart!

Days passed and her withered soul learned to manage her life which was no less than a storm but she managed to fend for herself and her life but She did meet him-yes she did! Tears again flowed after decades-Now this can be termed Destiny.....OR A TRYST WITH DESTINY!! When she had almost reconciled with life,once again,her celestial stars brought her unknowingly in front of him......But this time too only tears flowed...They were now both miles apart from each other and tied to their worldly duties........

Rocking on her chair,unconsciously she ran her fingers through her once beautiful,glossy mane which now had started showing gray streaks .Getting up from the chair ,with great labour,on her crutches ,as she had lost her right leg in a car accident,limped towards the Roses blossoming in the flower pots of her small house.....She had already lost her husband almost five years ago.Children were all settled abroad.Watering the Glorious Blossoms,She thought can age ,circumstances,physical ailment,Social norms,Family Pride etc. rule her mind-can all such things dictate her thoughts...She knew She Had To Meet Him......Only this time he will have to wait...................

For more love stories visit:
http://www.bbleo.com/love/family-love-story-was-that-love-or-sacrifice/
rashmi

Abondoning Liberty

2010-06-17T07:13:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to those million women whose talent,personality and
individuality die an unknown and silent death.Tied in family ropes of duties
and social norms,fear of maligning family name,their dreams,hopes, aspirations-
everything is covered under a thick quilt of false "family pride" from where they
are never able to come out-their crying soul is doomed forever............

Feet Abraded

Mind Swirling

Abandoning liberty.......

Heart Corroded
Soul Bleeding
Abandoning Liberty......

Eyes Misted
Thoughts Weeping
Abandoning Liberty ......

Vision Trampled
Dreams Crumbling

Abandoning Liberty.......

rashmi.

Things Change

2010-06-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

Below is not a poem but only a piece of "feeling"by me
coming straight from my heart....

Things Change...Yes things do change......
But life moves on...it has to move....
We just sit and watch helpless...
All efforts ushered ,yet useless...
Things change...men change...
People change....We all are helpless..
Helpless....tied and caught in a web....
Being helpless...Yet life moves on..
it has to move....
Puppets we are..nothing else...
dancing to tunes of life...
being helpless....

Things change...men change...people change

Here is the lyrics of " Things Change"by Tim McGraw
They wouldn't let him play the opry
With whiskey on his breath
And it didn't take'em long
To figure out what they missed
He went down that lost highway
Underneath the purple sky
A legend disappeared before his time

Things Change

Now some say it's too country
Some say it's a little rock n roll
But it's just good music you can feel it in your soul
It doesn't really matter
It's always been the same
Life goes on
Things Change

[Bridge:]
Don't you know they change
Oh, things change
As long as this world is turning
Things are gonna change
Gonna keep on changing

Gonna change

rashmi.

A Teacher

2010-06-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

This is brief feeling to what an actual teacher ought to be.AND WHAT HE/SHE

SHOULD NOT BE.

These days this prestigious profession has been commercialized.
Here I have tried to show "the unique rapport" which should be
there between a student and his mentor.

Respect and Reverence
dripping
Looking up in awe
She smiled at him

Affection and adoration
showering
looking back at her
He laughed at her

Vibration tingled
Their language mingled
She held his hand

Forwarding Faith to Farthest

Confidence and Conviction
invoking
They walked together slowly

Paving paths of prosperity.....

rashmi.

When Someone Laughs......

2010-05-23T03:27:00.000-07:00

A Short Note
This video shows the INTERNAL TURMOIL of a person.....
She might be in great distress but the world always treats her as "Eye Candy"

"Kitne hee yugon se
Sagar kee lehron ko sahtee
Tat kee pashaan banee main"......

The above lines in hindi says "from ages she is waiting for happiness to come to her...She is like that rock near the ocean which though abraded is braving its strong waves but still is unperturbed and undaunted......Courageously She is Facing Life...........
rashmi.

MAGICAL MOMENTS

2010-05-12T00:29:00.000-07:00

MAGICAL MOMENTS

Moments magical
Exotically bewitching
Fervent feelings

Forever impassioned

Sensuous seconds
Arduously yearning
Blazing passion

Rapturously obsessive

Timeless tenderness
Wistfully pining
Gushing ecstasy

Amorously nostalgic
rashmi.

Music Binds Love-It is Giving Not Plundering.."Love Is Eternal".....

2010-05-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

Love Stays In Heart........
Read the poem "Love Is Eternal" in this Blog And Feel The "Feeling"....

Oceans Of Loneliness-2-Rescue From Ravage-Domestic Violence Saga....

2010-05-01T00:20:00.000-07:00

Before reading this post READERS ARE REQUESTED to go through its connecting link " Oceans Of Loneliness-Part 1":http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2009/08/oceans-of-loneliness-standing-near.html

The post is totally fictitious. The characters and incidents bear no relevance OR resemblance with anyone dead or alive.

3C/embed%3E%3C/object%3E">
Kindly run this video after reading the story!

There were all sorts of people with strange, unique faces,obnoxious attire,grotesque attitude and definitely a fine example of " the world coming together as far as language was concerned"! It seemed people from all over the world had come to the place to pay homage to the Gods or was it sheer curiosity to visit "the land of snakes and sadhus-who knows?"

The entire area, stretching in almost about thousand acres and leading to thick yellow bushes was engulfed in a thick smoke of "havan"."dhoop","diyas", "incense sticks" blanketing even the "thoughts" of men and women present- it seemed as they were all fretting and running in the race to attain "salvation" or "mukti" from their "papakarma"!

Tangled hair,faces smothered with orange "sindoor", bhabhoot frightened Priya-she at once wanted to run back and hide in....yes but hide where? The umpteenth reddened eyes staring forced to pull her saree tightly around her body only to accentuate her curves-a kind of uneasiness was biting her but she had to do it but why had she to do it? For whom is she doing it? The same person who has been continually butchering her body and soul? ufff! her mind seemed to blast ! But now there was no way out-she was enveloped by different kinds of faces from all sides leaving no exit-yes the same way as her life.... where she has no option but to move ahead with it, in its flow watching the movement of its waves and waiting for the final storm!

The chanting of "mantras" and "temple bells" were heightening with the sun getting higher and higher in the sky! Sweating profusely,tongue withered till the roots, Priya badly wanted to sit somewhere but there wasn't an inch of space left-in fact she wasn't moving to the place of sacred "Havan"-she was pushed ahead automatically by the streams of "humans" in a frantic bid ,torturing themselves in the scorching heat to wash away their sins!"

"Shit", she muttered to herself and somehow wasn't guilty of the abusive thought at the sacred place for the torture she was undergoing-sacred place -indeed the sacred place-where all had come to snatch "punya" from Gods! And few others had come to SEE THE "TAMASHA OF INDIA", capturing in their lenses sights which would leave their friends back home gaping, an entertainment deadly enough to frighten their wits out!!

Bodies abrading,pushing,pulling,fainting,shouting-"Oh My God"! "Why the hell at first place did she come here?" Her daughter was distraught when she had heard her Mom's plans! In fact she tried to reason it out with her "It wasn't love-then what was it for which she had come here?She was a highly educated and by this time quite an experienced woman one too but then why this?"But before her tides of thoughts could find a shore, she was pushed again by the swarms of people trying to reach the destination to be a loved one of the Deity! "Stupid People"! "Ignorant and Superstitious"! she too was doing the same thing-wasn't she?" BUT SHE WAS FORCED-THE SOCIETY FORCED HER but she can not blame the society alone for it-she too was responsible-SHE, YES SHE ,despite being a capable woman,why did she let herself to be drifted by the "rules made for a pious woman !" Well it takes real strength both mental and physical to come out of the DOOM-THE ARENA OF PIETY ETCHED BY THE MEN AND THE HYPOCRITE SOCIETY!

Another push and she was inside the small dingy temple amidst the sprawling jungle-so much sweat,so much noise,sadhus chanting "mantras" for their "yajmanas" like personal customers! Milk mixed "gangajal " with different kinds of fruits were painting the entire place. Flickering flames of "diyas" were the only source of visibility. Everyone was busy to please Gods and to satisfy their wrath on this auspicious "muhurat"!! "How can people be so naive? If sins can be washed this way,what is the need of law?","The more she thought,the more her head ached"! Suddenly a pair of arms snatched her puja basket and commanded,"One thousand and one rupees"!She quietly took out the quoted money from her tiny purse hidden in her blouse.She could sense the Pundit's eyes and voice mellowing after seeing the money and was thinking if he had quoted less as there was no bargaining done for lessening the sins!"If a more detailed puja is desired then please take out another fifteen hundred",he quoted again!Demurely, she adhered to this order of his too , as she did not want any trouble!

Priya's patience had by then begin to ebb and was turning into restlessness! She tried to conciliate with LIFE but she can now by this time ,clearly perceive, failure zooming towards her.Her prayers were answered,she did not have to do any effort to come out of the place. Another timed wave,and she was out of the sacred zone.... leave aside the temple!To be true.she was automatically,pushed or literally thrown out!

As she entered the thatched small hut made for the devotees,her mind swirled due to the activities of the entire day-the HOLY DIP of the next morning was still left,"shit", she muttered to herself once again.But whom is she cursing, she had chosen this path on her own. Now she will have to bear the "brunt"! And she is bearing- isn't it otherwise, why would she let herself to be driven by the "herdsmen" of this society...to pray and take dips in the holy water for a person who had always abused,tortured,thrashed her like grains separating her soul from her body just as rice is separated from chaff! THE ONLY THING SHE COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WAS HOW HER PRAYERS ARE GOING TO WASH AWAY "HIS" SINS? How his body can be free from the boils and bleeding blisters growing all over like mushrooms no less than leprosy!She remembers the nights when he used to abuse and tell her that one day she would suffer for her deeds-but which deeds-she didn't know,neither did he! It was only his another way of emotional abuse! BUT NOW SHE WAS "ARDHANGINI",his better half to share his pain and sins but what about the blows she suffered and languished in lacerating pain,nights after nights...sometimes the nights were so long that it seemed she would never see a "sunshine" in her life-life which had become a dark dungeon for her......

"Ardhangini", "huh",she cursed again and wiped the "sindoor" spread across her forehead,a sign of a pious married woman.At this age too, she was quite attractive-people still looked at her with admiration! Looking herself in the small mirror she changed into a short sleeveless top and a sarong.Her hands reached out to her "glam bag" to search the "sleeping pills" which she intended to take after the holy dip but instead her fingers tinkled with the bottle of an "English Wine", gifted by one of her ex-students who was recently back from London and had come to see her off at the station! Priya had in fact felt little awkward but she very assuringly and lovingly said,"Keep it Ma'am","It is a very small gift for what you have done for us!" She could not refuse-children when grow up speak like elders and now Priya thought her student was correct!" She took out the wine bottle and a small glass from her purse..... and waited for the dawn.....the dawn when she would take the holy dip......the dawn when no longer she would be a puppet in anyone's hand neither time or humans.She would drill a path for herself on her own....a path on which though she would walk alone.... be at least peaceful.....away from deceit and deception...................serene........tranquil...........!!!AND SURELY SHE NEEDED THE TRUE GODS!

rashmi.

Love Is Eternal !

2010-04-22T23:27:00.000-07:00

Entwining the winds
Singing with birds
Nesting in hearts
Love Is Eternal

Dancing on waves
Twinkling with stars
Living the ages

Love is eternal

Intoxicating the nights

With love scented hearts
Brewing passion
Love Is Eternal

Sacrificing not Plundering
Bestowing and showering
Dew sequined petals
Love Is Eternal

rashmi.

A Blossom's Story

2010-04-04T02:18:00.000-07:00

A blossom blooms
Burgeoning untold truth
Yet unrevealed
To The Revelers

Every petal unraveling
Discreetly a story untold
Questioning its destiny
To The Revelers

Clad in a velvety wrap
Intoxicating its beholder
Fearing its" inevitable doom", unknown
To The Revelers

Enemies unknown
Gnawing its heart surreptitiously
Yet fighting fate to be a bliss
To The Revelers........................
rashmi.

THIS SILENT SOUL

2010-03-25T04:14:00.000-07:00

Languishing, perishing,perpetuating
on avowed path
This silent soul

Surreptitiously bearing brunt
" misdeeds "of time

This silent soul

Scathing ,lacerating,piercing
its humble heart
This silent soul.....

Agreeing, covenanting,compromising
to a "bond unknown"
This silent soul.......

rashmi.

Salvation........

2010-03-15T02:10:00.000-07:00

Lurking slyly
Putrid deadly droplets
Seething..........

Enveloping Soul and Mind
Gliding obliviously to oblivion
Sinking.....

Wounded Feet
Traversing vicious thorny paths
Bleeding.....

Scaling rugged peaks
Scattering fiery sweaty beads
Propitiating...
rashmi

So Come My Love!

2010-02-07T00:07:00.000-08:00

Let us dance on the stars
treading softly the milky way...
See the moon longing
for years to witness the rainbow
of our feelings.....
So come my love.....

Let us be flowers of a night
skimming softly the heaving waves...
See the wild wind whispering
silently the saga
of our timeless breathing...
So come my love.....

Let us meet under the tree
living through ages...
See the birds on its branches perching
humming the story
of our heartbeats racing
So come my love....

Let us be clouds of a thunderous night
panting with passion unknown...
See the angels waiting
for the songs of raindrops
tinted with our cravings....
So come my love....
rashmi.

An Unsaid Promise

2009-12-01T21:50:00.000-08:00

She looked deeply at the wooden figure
leaning almost dead on the armchair
with stony eyes and cold expressions....
no more there was the quilt of false confidence
under which she hid her childlike desires
and made the world to want her more.....

Ashamed as she claimed
to be 'ma's' best friend
she shivered at her own ingratitude and negligence
despising and hating the "Satans"
who stung her 'ma' not once but many a times....

Years passed yet she didn't come to see her
but now she was next to her......
"Amma",she whispered softly into her ears
"talk to me,I'l not fight, you see"
"never again-never again,just talk to me"...
tears welling out of her eyes unrestrained...

She saw the net of deep wrinkles
as cobwebs in the mounds of palatial ruins
marring her beautiful face the ancient way....
Each line reciting the story
of her selfless love,compromises and sacrifices...

Her face still bearing
the same essence of innocence...
which once hovered,lingered and enveloped
her beautiful soul..yes her beauty indeed.....
A tear trickled perching as a pearl
on her mother's cheeks.....

"Don't worry ma...don't worry!"
"This little birdie will quietly
snatch the straws from the nests of those
who wove an emotional trap-
to snatch the shiny,glossy feathers
leaving you to languish...."she breathed,
clutching tightly the old feeble hands
in AN UNSAID PROMISE....

Rashmi.

That Little Girl

2009-11-08T19:41:00.000-08:00

Nothing is impossible in this world-what actually needed is will power.Here is a small girl, wanting to see,if she can melt the ice of Antartica with a matchstick and get a drop of water.It may seem impossible to many but in her dictionary there is no such word as "impossible" This act of hers maybe aesthetically wrong but portrays the effort of a small child to overcome 'the impossible'

That Little Girl

That little girl stood
amidst the magnificent Cordilleran Folds-
wearing ubiquitous silence and ice jackets
wrapped in awe and wonder.

Her baffled liquid gray eyes
wide open in amazement
trying to secure the 'unbelievable'
in her delicate,soft arms.

With clenched teeth and agitated hands
searching frantically the matchbox
hidden somewhere amongst her quilted dress
she looked up to her mentor.

Her father smiled at her
He could see the passion-
the root of a budding talent
trying to find its niche

With numb palms and confident heart
she brought the weak flame
braving the screeching,biting wind
near the white wondrous magnificence

"YES-I did it!"she exclaimed
disbelief and joy flooding her exterior
as there on her index finger
illumined a small drop of water
sparkling synonymous to her confidence........

Rashmi.

"I MISS YOU PAPA"- LETTER OF A DAUGHTER.

2009-09-29T05:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Papa

Today is your thirteenth Death Anniversary.I don't know where are you-amongst the stars or a wave of wind blowing over the tides-sharing their might and power or perhaps somewhere very-very close to me...............wherever you are, I want you to stay with the same aura of mental strength which you had in abundance..............

I was in Moradabad at that time when I was made to face the cold and bitter truth that you had left us forever.That morning when I called up, ma was going to offer 'jal 'to tulsi ma, hence she asked you to talk to me.I still remember you told me,you had kept four frocks for Ayushree,my daughter,the name given to her by you and a few story books for my son Apurva.You did so as you were looking forward to meet me in near future although you knew my visits were unsure and uncertain........I didn't know the same evening I would be made aware of your absence...........Why Papa-why?Why did you turn your eyes from me............couldn't you have waited a little longer.....I would have been there to meet you.......But if I am not mistaken,you did come to meet me.About,after three days of your departure,I saw myself sitting with you at the dining table and having dinner.Totally baffled and confused,I asked."People say you are dead,then how have you got this body of yours again-how are you here?"As usual,with your carefree attitude,you replied,"You take your dinner and stop bothering.""Har fikr ko dhuye mein udata chala gaya" I was reminded of these lines.That whole night I couldn't sleep........People simply looked at me with disbelief,when in the morning I related to them the last night's incident, Nisha di, my eldest sister hugged me and said,"Bauji came to meet you,can't you understand........."Tears flooded my eyes and rolled off silently as they had done before.

Papa,I feel so lonely and distraught without you-this I realized after I lost you.You loved your daughters very much and had a golden heart for them. My sisters were always into a long and never ending conversation with you-always hanging around you....making you wear reading glasses- and doing next to nothing......especially Ila di, her talks would go on forever....and Punam di, always ordering things......but I was the youngest and the quietest one.I looked up at you with awe and reverence.You were such a disciplinarian that your friends called you,"Colonel"What a bold officer were you!You never made bureaucracy a victim of Politics and Politicians!

You remember,Papa, you used to call me "Kuppi" instead of Piku,my nickname but then too, I maintained a certain distance from you although whenever I wanted anything I just reached out to you and it was done....I remember once I was watching a movie in the school auditorium of Loreto,Ranchi and electricity went off...Oh My God-I still remember, the Principal ,Sister Margaret Mary asked me to make a call to you from her office and see if the electricity could be restored.I made the call and somehow managed to convey the message and lo within five minutes the movie was running in the hall......when I came home, ma told me the load shedding was from Patraratu Thermal Power Station!!!!I was dumbstruck...the act however not fair showed how much you loved me-and everything is fair in love and war..... this was the thought present there or your boldness,till now I'm not able to make it out.......

I remember once you scolded me slightly on some trivial matter which had no fault of mine and I stopped talking to you-whenever I came face to face with you, I shied away.......I was the sensitive type and you understood.To make up with me you had a special cake flown down from Flury's Kolkatta, for my thirteenth b'day along with canvasses,oil paints and brushes as you knew painting was my weakness and I was very good at it.I also remember your face glow with pride whenever I won prizes in any event especially when I used to win awards of the best speaker in debates,elocution and recitations from the 'RamKrishna PramHansa Society'. Despite your busy schedule,you never missed the Award Ceremony and attended it along with Ma.On stage while receiving the prize my eyes searched you,however being the quiet type, I hid this fact from you!

Today I went to Girls' Orphanage to do something in your name but it was really nothing compared to your generosity which you showered.............

But still, I do have certain grudges,complaints .I'll try and tell you,(which I think by now you must be knowing) when we will meet one day-we will meet Papa-won't we?

There are so many tranquil,soothing,rejuvenating fond memories(although I was little afraid of you too......) ,all of which can not be penned down-but one thing was common between us-we both loved reading and we both loved flowers......so for my marriage, my favourite flower Rajnigandha and jewelry made of these were once again especially flown down to Patna from Kolkatta but we do not know which way life flies-isn't it?.I wish only you and I had known it then Papa......................

Earlier I wrote, I have some grudges but actually I think I don't really have any ,as we all are puppets in the hands of time......I remember whenever I languished in pain, you could sense and read my pain. You would,then stand in front of me to say,"A Kshatrani and a Colonel's daughter,shedding tears-doesn't suit".... "SAMAY BADA BALWAN HOTA HAI" ,have faith in yourself,everything will be alright...............

I think I have babbled too much-but 'I love you Papa'-I think I could never say this to you, when you were alive but now I want to tell, YOU ARE THE BEST PAPA OF THIS WORLD!

Waiting to see and touch you someday.......

Your youngest and loving daughter

Kuppi.
READ:http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2010/10/jimpujhonnyjangu-missing-youstill-love.html

How A Nazi Was Made

2009-09-10T05:01:00.000-07:00

This piece of thought is dedicated to 'Those Millions'
who are not aware of their worth and feel themselves
somehow as 'Losers' or caught in a wrong stream of life.
An effort has been made here to alleviate 'Them' from
'Their ' distress and elevate to a pedestal of
self-esteem instilling faith and confidence.However
here I have only tried to bring out the outstanding qualities
of the people mentioned in the poem.I do not ask the readers
to associate themselves in anyway with their negative
aspects or qualities.

How A Nazi Was Made

Saw them idling on the streets
with banners and placards
carelessly slung-hung on their backs and hands
Cigarettes crushed between their lips
'inhaling' and 'exhaling' their "ATTITUDE"

Then there are 'a few' with tousled hair and yellow eyes
blaming "destiny",cribbing at their" misfortune"
oblivious of diamonds sparkling ahead
walking over them nonchalantly
thinking as coal dust

Sitting in coffee-houses,enveloping
themselves in clouds of nicotine
surrounded with empty cups and glasses
spitting at the 'system' of their lives
Are 'some others' fighting for the 'said survival'

Exhibiting oratory skills at places with no takers
Has no one told them about
Fall of 'Caesar' or revenge of 'Mark Antony?'
If not how 'a Gandhi' or 'a 'Bhagat Singh' was made?

I pity at their wits shaded with 'known ignorance'

Complaining being caught in a web
accidentally , with 'known Unawareness'
Has no one told them about' Abhimanyu's Chakravyuh',
'Prithviraj Chauhan' for instance
Or Rani's of Chitor and Jhansi?

Maybe identifying themselves with these
can damage their 'Said Attitude'
Corrupt 'their' ways bringing 'virus'
to their systems where they only identify
themselves with electronic waves and computer files

But in all eras there has to be a ,'Linoln'
'Bell' and a 'Newton' or a 'Laika'
who being a dog
scaled the heights in Sputnik 2
and perished saving humanity

Gibbering about "Recession" the intellectual way
Have 'They' really delved the deeps of it?
Talking about depressing ways of life
Has anyone ever dived the Economic Depression of '32
to bring pearls from it?

Yes-One did dive-One who still is an enigma
One whose 'fall' is discussed more than his 'rise'
One from whose charisma
'They' want to shy away
only to languish in 'their' self made spaces...

Running away from the stark naked truth
Have 'they' thought of those pearls......
HOW 'A HITLER WAS MADE'
On the mounds of 'RECESSION'
'HOW A NAZI WAS MADE'...............
FOR HITLER'S BIOGRAPHY VISIT
http://www.auschwitz.dk/id4.htm
rashmi.

Unanswered Question

2009-09-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

I was shocked to see her
Shocked to see
her bruised,abused and tortured appearance-
when she entered the door quietly

Her face marred
reciting the tortures of previous night
but she didn't say a single word
neither did I ask......

Famished,undernourished,sickly figure
clad in an old tattered saree.....
I wanted to ask"where's the one
which I gave you?"but couldn't......

Her hands started working
mechanically on the utensils
"Are you well?"I wanted to ask
knowing she wasn't......

I wanted to send her back
but she refused.
She sat down with a cup of tea
tears flowing ceaselessly.......

Trapped in my own web
of responsibilities,trying to soothe her
I came near her, scrounging badly for words
in my lexicon of 'emotional counseling' but failed.....

Still searching proper words
which could give her a momentary solace....
I shivered at her sudden changed behavior -
fire instead of tears erupted like a volcano from her eyes.........

"Bibiji I'm coming"she announced
her posture defying her previous cowardice
"Sukhi where are you going?"I shouted
"Only to my house"she shouted back

Waiting restlessly, as her importance
in my house couldn't be negated
I peeped out of the window
only to find myself dumbfound

There she was in the streets
being mercilessly dragged by three policemen-
her face and clothes stained with blood
which made me to shiver with fright........

I rushed towards her and screamed
"why Sukhi, why?"as I almost knew what she had done
Panting heavily without any guilt,she let herself being dragged
and spat unashamedly,"was he really my husband?"

But she asked 'a question' which left me tongue tied
and left behind many such questions scarring the face of humanity...........
Staring foolishly as she was pushed inside the police van
I returned timidly only to crouch in the corner of 'my house'.........

SHADES OF LIFE-1

2009-08-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

...............Shades Of Life-1..................
I run away from life, but it catches me...
I once again welcome it
It once again deceives me....

Why we get mesmerized by things
not permanent in life.......
And evade those which are permanent.......

Why some people leave you,,,,,,,,
And some always cling to you
bringing your soul to a halt.....

Why knowingly we get hypnotized to make blunders........
Blunders which are irreparable
leading to turbulent storms...........

Why some things never
come back in life.......
But we still wait for them intoxicated by their fragrance............

Why do people, known for their wits
behave like children.......
And can't get over their childish cravings.........

Why life is the way,it is.....
Why can't it be a little more easy
a little less tedious, exercising and cumbersome............

Why we let life have its way
Can't we be more strong headed
As not to get cheated by its luring puzzles.......

Why do we let ourselves entrapped
in the alluring intricate mesh of it.......
when we know its sticky threads are laced with poison....

Come life, come-try and test me......
try and open my fist if you can..YOU CAN'T.........
'CAUSE MY DESTINY IS SECURED IN MY HANDS...............

Sorry Ma............

2009-08-25T00:06:00.000-07:00

You cradled me in your arms
I think so.......
you nurtured me in your heart
I remember so......

I held your hands to school
Clutching tight your beautiful cotton saree
with my moist tiny little palms
crushing and embellishing it with stains
but you never complained.......

People pitied at me
being your fifth daughter.....
But you and pa both
made me feel
always like a queen..........

You bore all my demands
with a patient smile
Took care of my dress-
trinkets and tiny sets of jewellery....

You never complained
of the sleepless nights........
spent nursing me
as often I fell sick.......

Surrounded by newspapers
imparting G.K. to me......
you could see yourself in me
and were so proud of me ma................

But I could not be at your side
when you needed me...............
My fins were trimmed-my wings tied........
You knew everything
didn't you ma?

I still remember you bedridden-
with tear filled eyes
pleading not to leave you.....
clutching on to me with your left hand
as your right was paralyzed
just as I clutched on to yours once........

You never-ever made me feel
like a girl child of Indian Society....
But that day when I had to leave you behind.....
I was ashamed-
of myself as being born as a 'daughter'

And not a 'son'..............

The message of your death tore
me into many parts........
many of which could not be retrieved
till now..........

You were my mental support-
my 'iron lady'
You were looking so beautiful
serene,tranquil and calm
clad again in an expensive fresh cotton saree
when I reached to be near you.........

Now once again I clutched on to you
knowing that I have lost you forever...........
but you were still smiling
not even a trace of complaint
on your face........
I am sorry ma.....
Really I am............

Oceans Of Loneliness- The Deluge- Part 1-A Real Story....

2009-08-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

Oceans Of Loneliness

Standing near the ocean,she saw the sun's rays settling on the frothy waves of the vast,powerful,awesome,vibrant ocean and wished to be one of the bubbles of its frothy froth-yes she..... who is she ?

A girl of twenty something... when all her friends were still studying,enjoying life,she was experiencing different shades of it! With a child in her arms,Priya just wanted to run to a hidden corner where she could save herself from the deadly demons of the deceitful world.

The waves seemed to scream at her-"Priyaaa....Priyaaaaa....go back.Don't come near me,I'll swallow you.You don't know me.I'm dangerous as death!" But she wasn't afraid at all! She had seen more dangerous demons-more lethal weapons of death...why would she be afraid? "O ocean,what can you do to me?"she shouted and the waves shouted back to her."what can you do to me?"She stood dumbstruck ,like a small, meek ,stupid fool.She got her answer. What can she do after all?" "WHAT CAN I DO....?" she shouted again . The waves again shouted back to her,"WHAT CAN I DO........!"Yes you are right, I can't do anything."I am a coward woman who has been made to suffer-walk on the thorny path of life with bleeding feet............

For decades she had been experiencing bouts of depressions--if only this could happen if only that... wishes-wishes and only wishes! At times,she found herself wading through clouds of wishes-not a single one fulfilled!She wanted to pull off all the tiny fluffs which clung to her body like blood sucking parasites."Priyaaa-Priyaa-you bitch,what are you thinking-about your yaar?want to slap tight across your face and make you realize that I'm your husband,and you must cooperate with me.Have I brought to you this place to think of your boyfriends?C'mon sit beside me and hold my hand you bitch-your parents haven't taught you how to behave.I love you so much,can't you see.Is it clear to you,YOU WHORE! No I don't think it is clear to you.When I'll slap you in front of the servants then it'll be absolutely clear,I know.Listen baby.I love you very much.Now,make your parasite baby go to sleep and come to my bed immediately.I'm waiting.And better not go to sleep with him.You know what is going to happen if you do so-you will not be able to even walk.-you know na bitch-so better cooperate".Jatin shouted.

Her beauty had become a bane for her.She was a prized possession ,who was put in front of masses for their revelation and when people wondered and marveled at her beauty,.Jatin was all the more satisfied.It was a unique case.....first making her beauty flaunt,then abusing her for all the comments she gained and then pouncing on her body shredding into pieces like a vulture for hours that would never end.........................

With heavy heart she woke up,her eyelids sore after a night of torture,trauma.,alcohol,and abuse..she prayed to god to make him leave her for an hour or two so that she can try and live her life-run with her son around in the hotel room,go out to the swimming pool,taste the sun's rays shimmering on the gleaming water.AND YES ,this time her prayer was answered.Getting her freedom ,instead of going to the pool, she took the path from the hotel to the beach-her son too understood that she is happy and started giggling.She ran on the sand ,naked feet,shouted at the ocean,played with the water,forgetting everything only not forgetting the time!She had to be back in the room before he returned.It must be already an hour and if he returned,only to see the room locked from outside.......she shivered with an unknown spasm of fear!As priya was collecting her things,an old lady maybe in her eighties,who had been watching her from quite a long time, in a way signaled her to come to her."Are you a bengali?"she asked."No,why?"Priya queried."Oh,you are so beautiful,only Bengalis have the kind of beauty and grace you have"she said,"but it hardly matters, give me your parents name and address,I want a daughter -in -,law like you ,who would keep my grandson settled in Australia happy.He doesn't want to get married and you see how old I have become.Before I die, my only wish is to see his 'bahu' and that too ,like you.....he's here with me.........he doesn't approve anyone but he'll certainly like you a lot beta....,The woman went on speaking,her voice ringing incoherently in her ears.....tears blurring her eyes....she jerked backwards pulling her son running back towards the hotel room,as if a scorpion had stung her...."beta-beta" ,the lady kept on calling her back, with her weak,feeble voice kept fading with every hurried step of hers

How can she keep anyone happy?Her in laws are so distraught with her appearance,so insecure, that she might one day snatch their son away from them......who in turn was snatching her soul from her.......

Priya unlocked her room and did best possible to erase all signs ,that she had been to the beach.Her small son, too helping her ,as by now his little mind had understood that his mumma in some way was unhappy and thus did whatever could do, to save her from the wolf who lived in the house in the guise of a man!When the wolf would enter,he would shrink into his corner-when the wolf laughed,he would laugh, just to appease his whims! A slight line of hatred could be now sensed in his personality too for the man with whom he and his mother were compelled to live.

"Arrey jaan,where are you?Jatin entered the room with big smile on his face,eyes red,features strained, beads of sweat on forehead which justified the strong stink of some hard liquor!"I have brought picture tickets.Get ready.After the movie we'll have dinner outside."Jatin commanded and sat down to make another peg for himself.If she would refuse,a big drama would ensue.She always wanted to say" NO-I DON,T WANT TO GO OUT WITH A SHARAABI"but always got ready due to sheer fear of abuse.Almost

everything of luxury was provided to her with a tag of torture.She could feel a lacerating pain cutting her to pieces....whatever be, she would not malign her parents' name!She

will try and do her best to put everything right.AND THIS IS WHERE SHE WENT WRONG-her efforts to make everything seem alright was mistaken as her timidity...her

cowardice, which probably was true................

Then came that 'black night' which once began, never ended.The night of extreme pain,blood and blues which went on endlessly for decades.Being hit ,had become a common phenomenon with her, but being beaten like an animal who could not get up for days was unusual................The door-bell rang.She went to respond as he never bothered to do such lowly things,because it was, according to him against the duties, a man should perform AND SHE FROZE.....The same old lady with a help of a hotel staff

was standing in front of her.She could sense death-knell ringing.... ,her body went numb with an unknown kind of a fear......."What are you doing there?'shouted Jatin

"Very funny !Except your husband,you seem to enjoy every second dog's company--BITCH,and he was there -with a sozzled posture,eyes blood red, drooping facial expressions,nostrils flared and stinking mouth,

"with whom are you stuck?"After giving a glance at the old lady asked,"what is she doing here?"So you've asked people around,to come for rescue !"he snarled.

The old lady horrified by the unexpected scene,continued,"no...it's not like that beta....we met at the beach and....""she met you at the beach"Jatin looked at Priya with raging anger and disbelief""now if you'll please excuse us, I have some very important and urgent matter to discuss with my wife.""Wife!"the old lady exclaimed.

"YES WIFE!"The wolf growled.

"So you are dying to fly out?yeah,tell me you slut,staying with husband doesn't satisfy you?uhmmm!This hooker has to be put right otherwise,she'll get wings"he shouted

loudly and in a fit of anger punched brutally in her stomach,on her face,held her by hair and banged to the side walls many a times.Whole night he thrashed her,the whole. night she whined with pain,face drenched with blood and tears which had no takers.....

Wanting for the first time to run away from his captivity,she crouched in a dark corner,sobbing ceaselessly.Her terrified son too hid himself in a corner trembling and crying silently.She lay on the floor, unconscious,till morning,when he came

and sat beside her."okay,I'm sorry.now don't overreact.c'mon, come to the bed."She looked at him with pleading eyes-her eyes and lips all swollen badly with last night's extreme torture.Her son lying on the carpet,although hungry ,shut his eyes with fear."Are you coming,or do you need more thrashings?"I know how to set right a characterless woman!"he screamed.This torture of marital rape and sexual abuse ensued for another couple of years when finally one night she tried to end her life but here too death deceived her!She kept hanging from the ceiling fan,unconscious for hours........

............................................................................................................2..............................................................................................................................................

In all and everything,life went on.Her son grew up.By this time she had a daughter too.Gradually life taught her how to fend for herself and face all kinds of grotesque and obnoxious situations-situations which made her to eat shit-but she lived on gracefully....apparently for the world and her children... And Priya by now had learnt not to accept defeat.she moulded herself into a perennial river which would always be a source to millions for quenching their emotional thirsts and would always remain so whatever the circumstances be.....the only irony she dreaded that now by this time she had shaped her career as a counselor.Wasn't she cheating everyone?

As she thought more and more, her mind started buzzing with incoherent thoughts......she knew very well that her past always hallucinated her but still she did best to collect the strewn pieces of life to stitch it together into a comfortable quilt where her children can take shelter from the unknown dark ways of life.....But she could see the fangs of destiny lurking always near her and and trying to find a chance to strangulate her mentally....Was it not enough ?was it not done?How much does one person have to take up in life?Anyways there is something which always stopped her from falling down in the muck or getting lost in this jungle of world-her mother's silent gaze looking down at her from the mysterious sky and enveloping her with divine light,giving her immense inner strength and making her to wipe tears and face all the hurdles in the race of life.........She thought if not now,

then never.She has to take some decision....HAS TO.....she is not going to take such shit anymore....not going to live like a lame duck waiting for a final end.

The story is still incomplete.....the emotional-physical- mental trauma is still going on..................TILL WHEN ?Priya doesn't know.Perhaps she'll have to wait for the next

birth,where she would find someone who would make everything tranquil and peaceful........serene and calm..........soothing after all.................
READ PART 2-A MUST! RESCUE FROM RAVAGE:
http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2010/05/oceans-of-loneliness-2-rescue-from.html

MUST KNOW

Family Violence Protective Orders

April 27, 2008

Domestic violence | It's not just physical abuse

Yesterday, John P. Tassinari shot his wife, Barbara, multiple times with two 45-caliber handguns in the driveway of their Quincy, Massachusetts home. She died at the scene. She left two children, one son who is 10 and a 1-year-old from the marriage to Tassinari.
READ TO OVERCOME AN ABUSIVE RELATION:
http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
OR
http://legalperspectives.blogspot.com/2009/10/marital-rape.html
WHICH SAYS:
Whereas, a marriage does not mean women to turn in to slaves. Thus, women do not lose human rights because of marriage. So long as a person lives as a human being he/she is entitled to exercise those in-born and natural human rights. To say that the husband can rape his wife after the marriage is to deny independent existence, right to live with self respect and right to self-determination. Any act which results in non-existence of women, adversely affects on self-respect of women, infringes upon right of women to independent decision making or which makes women slaves or an object or property is not compatible in the context of modern world, rather it is a stone-age thought.

- Whereas, to forcibly compel women to use an organ of her body against her will is serious violation of her right to live with dignity, right to self-determination and it is an abuse of her human rights. The Constitution has guaranteed the right to privacy. Therefore, in the light of those international instruments on human rights, it cannot be said that marital rape is permissible.
READ HOW PROMISES ARE BROKEN:
http://shimmeringbutterfly.blogspot.com/2010/11/promises-are-made-to-be-broken.html

READ ANOTHER FEEL:
http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2010/10/jimpujhonnyjangu-missing-youstill-love.html

rashmi.

Mistaken Beauty

2009-08-18T06:08:00.000-07:00

MISTAKEN BEAUTY

A delicate flower sways.............
braving the strong winds of
the thunderous gloomy night.........
Its frail petals falling one by one.............
A tear trickling down the eyes of a star.......
entwined in the treacherous locks of storm....
settles on one of them
sparkling as a precious gem..............
and you have been always thinking
it as a serene dew drop of a tranquil morning.........

A small weak bird.......
in the heartless cold grip
of a vicious venomous snake
under the blurred leaden sky
A frightful, suppressed,muffled
cry escapes its dying heart..........
and you have been always thinking
it as the cool whiff
of the approaching dawn..............