"I MISS YOU PAPA"- LETTER OF A DAUGHTER.

Dear Papa

Today is your thirteenth Death Anniversary.I don't know where are you-amongst the stars or a wave of wind blowing over the tides-sharing their might and power or perhaps somewhere very-very close to me...............wherever you are, I want you to stay with the same aura of mental strength which you had in abundance..............

I was in Moradabad at that time when I was made to face the cold and bitter truth that you had left us forever.That morning when I called up, ma was going to offer 'jal 'to tulsi ma, hence she asked you to talk to me.I still remember you told me,you had kept four frocks for Ayushree,my daughter,the name given to her by you and a few story books for my son Apurva.You did so as you were looking forward to meet me in near future although you knew my visits were unsure and uncertain........I didn't know the same evening I would be made aware of your absence...........Why Papa-why?Why did you turn your eyes from me............couldn't you have waited a little longer.....I would have been there to meet you.......But if I am not mistaken,you did come to meet me.About,after three days of your departure,I saw myself sitting with you at the dining table and having dinner.Totally baffled and confused,I asked."People say you are dead,then how have you got this body of yours again-how are you here?"As usual,with your carefree attitude,you replied,"You take your dinner and stop bothering.""Har fikr ko dhuye mein udata chala gaya" I was reminded of these lines.That whole night I couldn't sleep........People simply looked at me with disbelief,when in the morning I related to them the last night's incident, Nisha di, my eldest sister hugged me and said,"Bauji came to meet you,can't you understand........."Tears flooded my eyes and rolled off silently as they had done before.

Papa,I feel so lonely and distraught without you-this I realized after I lost you.You loved your daughters very much and had a golden heart for them. My sisters were always into a long and never ending conversation with you-always hanging around you....making you wear reading glasses- and doing next to nothing......especially Ila di, her talks would go on forever....and Punam di, always ordering things......but I was the youngest and the quietest one.I looked up at you with awe and reverence.You were such a disciplinarian that your friends called you,"Colonel" What a bold officer were you!You never made bureaucracy a victim of Politics and Politicians!

You remember,Papa, you used to call me "Kuppi" instead of Piku, my nickname but then too, I maintained a certain distance from you although whenever I wanted anything I just reached out to you and it was done....I remember once I was watching a movie in the school auditorium of Loreto,Ranchi and electricity went off...Oh My God-I still remember, the Principal ,Sister Margaret Mary asked me to make a call to you from her office and see if the electricity could be restored.I made the call and somehow managed to convey the message and lo within five minutes the movie was running in the hall......when I came home, ma told me the load shedding was from Patraratu Thermal Power Station!!!!I was dumbstruck...the act however not fair showed how much you loved me-and everything is fair in love and war..... this was the thought present there or your boldness,till now I'm not able to make it out.......

I remember once you scolded me slightly on some trivial matter which had no fault of mine and I stopped talking to you-whenever I came face to face with you, I shied away.......I was the sensitive type and you understood.To make up with me you had a special cake flown down from Flury's Kolkatta, for my thirteenth b'day along with canvasses,oil paints and brushes as you knew painting was my weakness and I was very good at it.I also remember your face glow with pride whenever I won prizes in any event especially when I used to win awards of the best speaker in debates,elocution and recitations from the 'RamKrishna PramHansa Society'. Despite your busy schedule,you never missed the Award Ceremony and attended it along with Ma.On stage while receiving the prize my eyes searched you,however being the quiet type, I hid this fact from you!

Today I went to Girls' Orphanage to do something in your name but it was really nothing compared to your generosity which you showered.............

But still, I do have certain grudges,complaints .I'll try and tell you,(which I think by now you must be knowing) when we will meet one day-we will meet Papa-won't we?

There are so many tranquil,soothing,rejuvenating fond memories(although I was little afraid of you too......) ,all of which can not be penned down-but one thing was common between us-we both loved reading and we both loved flowers......so for my marriage, my favourite flower Rajnigandha and jewelry made of these were once again especially flown down to Patna from Kolkatta but we do not know which way life flies-isn't it?.I wish only you and I had known it then Papa......................

Earlier I wrote, I have some grudges but actually I think I don't really have any ,as we all are puppets in the hands of time......I remember whenever I languished in pain, you could sense and read my pain. You would,then stand in front of me to say,"A Kshatrani and a Colonel's daughter,shedding tears-doesn't suit".... "SAMAY BADA BALWAN HOTA HAI" ,have faith in yourself,everything will be alright...............

I think I have babbled too much-but 'I love you Papa'-I think I could never say this to you, when you were alive but now I want to tell, YOU ARE THE BEST PAPA OF THIS WORLD!

Waiting to see and touch you someday.......

Your youngest and loving daughter

Kuppi.
READ:http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2010/10/jimpujhonnyjangu-missing-youstill-love.html

How A Nazi Was Made

This piece of thought is dedicated to 'Those Millions'
who are not aware of their worth and feel themselves
somehow as 'Losers' or caught in a wrong stream of life.
An effort has been made here to alleviate 'Them' from
'Their ' distress and elevate to a pedestal of
self-esteem instilling faith and confidence.However
here I have only tried to bring out the outstanding qualities
of the people mentioned in the poem.I do not ask the readers
to associate themselves in anyway with their negative
aspects or qualities.

How A Nazi Was Made

Saw them idling on the streets
with banners and placards
carelessly slung-hung on their backs and hands
Cigarettes crushed between their lips
'inhaling' and 'exhaling' their "ATTITUDE"

Then there are 'a few' with tousled hair and yellow eyes
blaming "destiny",cribbing at their" misfortune"
oblivious of diamonds sparkling ahead
walking over them nonchalantly
thinking as coal dust

Sitting in coffee-houses,enveloping
themselves in clouds of nicotine
surrounded with empty cups and glasses
spitting at the 'system' of their lives
Are 'some others' fighting for the 'said survival'

Exhibiting oratory skills at places with no takers
Has no one told them about
Fall of 'Caesar' or revenge of 'Mark Antony?'
If not how 'a Gandhi' or 'a 'Bhagat Singh' was made?

I pity at their wits shaded with 'known ignorance'

Complaining being caught in a web
accidentally , with 'known Unawareness'
Has no one told them about' Abhimanyu's Chakravyuh',
'Prithviraj Chauhan' for instance
Or Rani's of Chitor and Jhansi?

Maybe identifying themselves with these
can damage their 'Said Attitude'
Corrupt 'their' ways bringing 'virus'
to their systems where they only identify
themselves with electronic waves and computer files

But in all eras there has to be a ,'Linoln'
'Bell' and a 'Newton' or a 'Laika'
who being a dog
scaled the heights in Sputnik 2
and perished saving humanity

Gibbering about "Recession" the intellectual way
Have 'They' really delved the deeps of it?
Talking about depressing ways of life
Has anyone ever dived the Economic Depression of '32
to bring pearls from it?

Yes-One did dive-One who still is an enigma
One whose 'fall' is discussed more than his 'rise'
One from whose charisma
'They' want to shy away
only to languish in 'their' self made spaces...

Running away from the stark naked truth
Have 'they' thought of those pearls......
HOW 'A HITLER WAS MADE'
On the mounds of 'RECESSION'
'HOW A NAZI WAS MADE'...............
FOR HITLER'S BIOGRAPHY VISIT
http://www.auschwitz.dk/id4.htm 
 rashmi.

Unanswered Question

I was shocked to see her
Shocked to see
her bruised,abused and tortured appearance-
when she entered the door quietly

Her face marred
reciting the tortures of previous night
but she didn't say a single word
neither did I ask......

Famished,undernourished,sickly figure
clad in an old tattered saree.....
I wanted to ask"where's the one
which I gave you?"but couldn't......

Her hands started working
mechanically on the utensils
"Are you well?"I wanted to ask
knowing she wasn't......

I wanted to send her back
but she refused.
She sat down with a cup of tea
tears flowing ceaselessly.......

Trapped in my own web
of responsibilities,trying to soothe her
I came near her, scrounging badly for words
in my lexicon of 'emotional counseling' but failed.....

Still searching proper words
which could give her a momentary solace....
I shivered at her sudden changed behavior -
fire instead of tears erupted like a volcano from her eyes.........

"Bibiji I'm coming"she announced
her posture defying her previous cowardice
"Sukhi where are you going?"I shouted
"Only to my house"she shouted back

Waiting restlessly, as her importance
in my house couldn't be negated
I peeped out of the window
only to find myself dumbfound

There she was in the streets
being mercilessly dragged by three policemen-
her face and clothes stained with blood
which made me to shiver with fright........

I rushed towards her and screamed
"why Sukhi, why?"as I almost knew what she had done
Panting heavily without any guilt,she let herself being dragged
and spat unashamedly,"was he really my husband?"

But she asked 'a question' which left me tongue tied
and left behind many such questions scarring the face of humanity...........
Staring foolishly as she was pushed inside the police van
I returned timidly only to crouch in the corner of 'my house'.........