Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Sorry Ma............


You cradled me in your arms
I think so.......
you nurtured me in your heart
I remember so......

I held your hands to school
Clutching tight your beautiful cotton saree
with my moist tiny little palms
crushing and embellishing it with stains
but you never complained.......

People pitied at me
being your fifth daughter.....
But you and pa both
made me feel
always like a queen..........

You bore all my demands
with a patient smile
Took care of my dress-
trinkets and tiny sets of jewellery....

You never complained
of the sleepless nights........
spent nursing me
as often I fell sick.......

Surrounded by newspapers
imparting G.K. to me......
you could see yourself in me
and were so proud of me ma................

But I could not be at your side
when you needed me...............
My fins were trimmed-my wings tied........
You knew everything
didn't you ma?



I still remember you bedridden-
with tear filled eyes
pleading not to leave you.....
clutching on to me with your left hand
as your right was paralyzed
just as I clutched on to yours once........

You never-ever made me feel
like a girl child of Indian Society....
But that day when I had to leave you behind.....
I was ashamed-
of myself as being born as a 'daughter'
And not a 'son'..............

The message of your death tore
me into many parts........
many of which could not be retrieved
till now..........

You were my mental support-
my 'iron lady'
You were looking so beautiful
serene,tranquil and calm
clad again in an expensive fresh cotton saree
when I reached to be near you.........

Now once again I clutched on to you
knowing that I have lost you forever...........
but you were still smiling
not even a trace of complaint
on your face........
I am sorry ma.....
Really I am............

9 comments:

healer0871 said...

touching , heartwrenching .the pain , helplessness and the agony overwhelms the love & gratitude .the loss is palpable ,cudnt help but did found my eyes moist, yes some people and things are simply irreplaceble

RASHMI SINGH said...

Thanx you understood my pain............

VIVEK said...

really touched with your feeling,imagination and thought.

RASHMI SINGH said...

Yes....you almost know the circumstances.....although then I never talked
much to anyone-was concentrated on my goal which somehow got blurred but as it is well said "you can't get more neither can you get less-you will only get as much as there is, in the destiny for you"But I've inherited a fighter's instincts from my father............

shalini said...

I read and read and read-not able to control my tears.

RASHMI SINGH said...

Thanks for your valuable comment-we realize the worth of few things in life when we come to face the cold and bitter truth that we are never going to get them back.

Kushi said...

This is undoubtedly the best you have written.. u knw y??? cos its not just true for u but all of ma's kids maasi.. very few ppl even after being the disciplinarians that they are, are so fondly remembered. just huggin her, a warm smile from her was enough for us. i cudnt c her wen she left us but i miss her alot. and sumwer i had forgotten wat it was to have her around. thanks you brought all memories back to me.i wish i could just hug her once. and cry my heart out..

suman said...

what a thought mam nice very nice

RASHMI SINGH said...

couldn't c papa wen he left-sumhow managed to c her.She is always there with me.

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