Oceans Of Loneliness- The Deluge- Part 1-A Real Story....

Oceans Of Loneliness

Standing near the ocean,she saw the sun's rays settling on the frothy waves of the vast,powerful,awesome,vibrant ocean and wished to be one of the bubbles of its frothy froth-yes she..... who is she ?

A girl of twenty something... when all her friends were still studying,enjoying life,she was experiencing different shades of it! With a child in her arms,Priya just wanted to run to a hidden corner where she could save herself from the deadly demons of the deceitful world.

The waves seemed to scream at her-"Priyaaa....Priyaaaaa....go back.Don't come near me,I'll swallow you.You don't know me.I'm dangerous as death!" But she wasn't afraid at all! She had seen more dangerous demons-more lethal weapons of death...why would she be afraid? "O ocean,what can you do to me?"she shouted and the waves shouted back to her."what can you do to me?"She stood dumbstruck ,like a small, meek ,stupid fool.She got her answer. What can she do after all?" "WHAT CAN I DO....?" she shouted again . The waves again shouted back to her,"WHAT CAN I DO........!"Yes you are right, I can't do anything."I am a coward woman who has been made to suffer-walk on the thorny path of life with bleeding feet............

For decades she had been experiencing bouts of depressions--if only this could happen if only that... wishes-wishes and only wishes! At times,she found herself wading through clouds of wishes-not a single one fulfilled!She wanted to pull off all the tiny fluffs which clung to her body like blood sucking parasites."Priyaaa-Priyaa-you bitch,what are you thinking-about your yaar?want to slap tight across your face and make you realize that I'm your husband,and you must cooperate with me.Have I brought to you this place to think of your boyfriends?C'mon sit beside me and hold my hand you bitch-your parents haven't taught you how to behave.I love you so much,can't you see.Is it clear to you,YOU WHORE! No I don't think it is clear to you.When I'll slap you in front of the servants then it'll be absolutely clear,I know.Listen baby.I love you very much.Now,make your parasite baby go to sleep and come to my bed immediately.I'm waiting.And better not go to sleep with him.You know what is going to happen if you do so-you will not be able to even walk.-you know na bitch-so better cooperate".Jatin shouted.

Her beauty had become a bane for her.She was a prized possession ,who was put in front of masses for their revelation and when people wondered and marveled at her beauty,.Jatin was all the more satisfied.It was a unique case.....first making her beauty flaunt,then abusing her for all the comments she gained and then pouncing on her body shredding into pieces like a vulture for hours that would never end.........................

With heavy heart she woke up,her eyelids sore after a night of torture,trauma.,alcohol,and abuse..she prayed to god to make him leave her for an hour or two so that she can try and live her life-run with her son around in the hotel room,go out to the swimming pool,taste the sun's rays shimmering on the gleaming water.AND YES ,this time her prayer was answered.Getting her freedom ,instead of going to the pool, she took the path from the hotel to the beach-her son too understood that she is happy and started giggling.She ran on the sand ,naked feet,shouted at the ocean,played with the water,forgetting everything only not forgetting the time!She had to be back in the room before he returned.It must be already an hour and if he returned,only to see the room locked from outside.......she shivered with an unknown spasm of fear!As priya was collecting her things,an old lady maybe in her eighties,who had been watching her from quite a long time, in a way signaled her to come to her."Are you a bengali?"she asked."No,why?"Priya queried."Oh,you are so beautiful,only Bengalis have the kind of beauty and grace you have"she said,"but it hardly matters, give me your parents name and address,I want a daughter -in -,law like you ,who would keep my grandson settled in Australia happy.He doesn't want to get married and you see how old I have become.Before I die, my only wish is to see his 'bahu' and that too ,like you.....he's here with me.........he doesn't approve anyone but he'll certainly like you a lot beta....,The woman went on speaking,her voice ringing incoherently in her ears.....tears blurring her eyes....she jerked backwards pulling her son running back towards the hotel room,as if a scorpion had stung her...."beta-beta" ,the lady kept on calling her back, with her weak,feeble voice kept fading with every hurried step of hers

How can she keep anyone happy?Her in laws are so distraught with her appearance,so insecure, that she might one day snatch their son away from them......who in turn was snatching her soul from her.......

Priya unlocked her room and did best possible to erase all signs ,that she had been to the beach.Her small son, too helping her ,as by now his little mind had understood that his mumma in some way was unhappy and thus did whatever could do, to save her from the wolf who lived in the house in the guise of a man!When the wolf would enter,he would shrink into his corner-when the wolf laughed,he would laugh, just to appease his whims! A slight line of hatred could be now sensed in his personality too for the man with whom he and his mother were compelled to live.

"Arrey jaan,where are you?Jatin entered the room with big smile on his face,eyes red,features strained, beads of sweat on forehead which justified the strong stink of some hard liquor!"I have brought picture tickets.Get ready.After the movie we'll have dinner outside."Jatin commanded and sat down to make another peg for himself.If she would refuse,a big drama would ensue.She always wanted to say" NO-I DON,T WANT TO GO OUT WITH A SHARAABI"but always got ready due to sheer fear of abuse.Almost

everything of luxury was provided to her with a tag of torture.She could feel a lacerating pain cutting her to pieces....whatever be, she would not malign her parents' name!She

will try and do her best to put everything right.AND THIS IS WHERE SHE WENT WRONG-her efforts to make everything seem alright was mistaken as her timidity...her

cowardice, which probably was true................

Then came that 'black night' which once began, never ended.The night of extreme pain,blood and blues which went on endlessly for decades.Being hit ,had become a common phenomenon with her, but being beaten like an animal who could not get up for days was unusual................The door-bell rang.She went to respond as he never bothered to do such lowly things,because it was, according to him against the duties, a man should perform AND SHE FROZE.....The same old lady with a help of a hotel staff

was standing in front of her.She could sense death-knell ringing.... ,her body went numb with an unknown kind of a fear......."What are you doing there?'shouted Jatin

"Very funny !Except your husband,you seem to enjoy every second dog's company--BITCH,and he was there -with a sozzled posture,eyes blood red, drooping facial expressions,nostrils flared and stinking mouth,

"with whom are you stuck?"After giving a glance at the old lady asked,"what is she doing here?"So you've asked people around,to come for rescue !"he snarled.

The old lady horrified by the unexpected scene,continued,"no...it's not like that beta....we met at the beach and....""she met you at the beach"Jatin looked at Priya with raging anger and disbelief""now if you'll please excuse us, I have some very important and urgent matter to discuss with my wife.""Wife!"the old lady exclaimed.

"YES WIFE!"The wolf growled.

"So you are dying to fly out?yeah,tell me you slut,staying with husband doesn't satisfy you?uhmmm!This hooker has to be put right otherwise,she'll get wings"he shouted

loudly and in a fit of anger punched brutally in her stomach,on her face,held her by hair and banged to the side walls many a times.Whole night he thrashed her,the whole. night she whined with pain,face drenched with blood and tears which had no takers.....

Wanting for the first time to run away from his captivity,she crouched in a dark corner,sobbing ceaselessly.Her terrified son too hid himself in a corner trembling and crying silently.She lay on the floor, unconscious,till morning,when he came

and sat beside her."okay,I'm sorry.now don't overreact.c'mon, come to the bed."She looked at him with pleading eyes-her eyes and lips all swollen badly with last night's extreme torture.Her son lying on the carpet,although hungry ,shut his eyes with fear."Are you coming,or do you need more thrashings?"I know how to set right a characterless woman!"he screamed.This torture of marital rape and sexual abuse ensued for another couple of years when finally one night she tried to end her life but here too death deceived her!She kept hanging from the ceiling fan,unconscious for hours........

............................................................................................................2..............................................................................................................................................

In all and everything,life went on.Her son grew up.By this time she had a daughter too.Gradually life taught her how to fend for herself and face all kinds of grotesque and obnoxious situations-situations which made her to eat shit-but she lived on gracefully....apparently for the world and her children... And Priya by now had learnt not to accept defeat.she moulded herself into a perennial river which would always be a source to millions for quenching their emotional thirsts and would always remain so whatever the circumstances be.....the only irony she dreaded that now by this time she had shaped her career as a counselor.Wasn't she cheating everyone?

As she thought more and more, her mind started buzzing with incoherent thoughts......she knew very well that her past always hallucinated her but still she did best to collect the strewn pieces of life to stitch it together into a comfortable quilt where her children can take shelter from the unknown dark ways of life.....But she could see the fangs of destiny lurking always near her and and trying to find a chance to strangulate her mentally....Was it not enough ?was it not done?How much does one person have to take up in life?Anyways there is something which always stopped her from falling down in the muck or getting lost in this jungle of world-her mother's silent gaze looking down at her from the mysterious sky and enveloping her with divine light,giving her immense inner strength and making her to wipe tears and face all the hurdles in the race of life.........She thought if not now,

then never.She has to take some decision....HAS TO.....she is not going to take such shit anymore....not going to live like a lame duck waiting for a final end.

The story is still incomplete.....the emotional-physical- mental trauma is still going on..................TILL WHEN ?Priya doesn't know.Perhaps she'll have to wait for the next

birth,where she would find someone who would make everything tranquil and peaceful........serene and calm..........soothing after all.................
READ PART 2-A MUST! RESCUE FROM RAVAGE:
http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2010/05/oceans-of-loneliness-2-rescue-from.html 

READ TO OVERCOME AN ABUSIVE RELATION:

http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm 

OR

http://legalperspectives.blogspot.com/2009/10/marital-rape.html 

WHICH SAYS:

Whereas, a marriage does not mean women to turn in to slaves. Thus, women do not lose human rights because of marriage. So long as a person lives as a human being he/she is entitled to exercise those in-born and natural human rights. To say that the husband can rape his wife after the marriage is to deny independent existence, right to live with self respect and right to self-determination. Any act which results in non-existence of women, adversely affects on self-respect of women, infringes upon right of women to independent decision making or which makes women slaves or an object or property is not compatible in the context of modern world, rather it is a stone-age thought.

- Whereas, to forcibly compel women to use an organ of her body against her will is serious violation of her right to live with dignity, right to self-determination and it is an abuse of her human rights. The Constitution has guaranteed the right to privacy. Therefore, in the light of those international instruments on human rights, it cannot be said that marital rape is permissible.

READ HOW PROMISES ARE BROKEN:

http://shimmeringbutterfly.blogspot.com/2010/11/promises-are-made-to-be-broken.html

 READ ANOTHER FEEL:
 http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2010/10/jimpujhonnyjangu-missing-youstill-love.html

rashmi.