Saturday, May 1, 2010

Oceans Of Loneliness-2-Rescue From Ravage-Domestic Violence Saga....

Before reading this post  READERS ARE REQUESTED to go through  its connecting link " Oceans Of Loneliness-Part 1":http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2009/08/oceans-of-loneliness-standing-near.html

The post is totally fictitious.  The  characters and incidents bear no relevance OR resemblance with anyone dead or alive.



 
 There were all sorts of people with strange, unique faces,obnoxious attire,grotesque attitude and definitely a fine example of " the world coming together as far as language was concerned"! It seemed people from all over the world had  come to the place to pay homage to the Gods or was it sheer curiosity to visit "the land of snakes and sadhus-who knows?"

The entire area, stretching in almost about thousand acres and leading to thick yellow bushes was engulfed in a thick smoke  of "havan"."dhoop","diyas", "incense sticks" blanketing even the "thoughts" of men and women present- it seemed as they were all fretting and running in the race to attain "salvation" or "mukti" from their "papakarma"!

Tangled hair,faces smothered with orange "sindoor", bhabhoot  frightened Priya-she at once wanted to run back and hide in....yes but hide where? The umpteenth reddened eyes staring  forced to pull her saree tightly around her body only to accentuate her curves-a kind of uneasiness was biting her but she had to do it but why had she to do it? For whom is she doing it? The same person who  has been continually butchering her body and soul? ufff! her mind seemed to blast ! But now there was no way out-she was enveloped by different kinds of faces from all sides leaving no exit-yes the same way as her life.... where she has no option but to move ahead with it, in its flow watching the movement of its waves and waiting for the final storm!


The chanting of "mantras" and "temple bells" were heightening with the sun getting higher and higher in the sky! Sweating profusely,tongue withered till the roots, Priya badly wanted to sit somewhere but there wasn't an inch of space left-in fact she wasn't moving to the place of sacred "Havan"-she was pushed ahead automatically by  the streams of "humans" in a frantic bid ,torturing themselves in the scorching heat to wash away their sins!"

"Shit", she muttered to herself and somehow wasn't guilty of the abusive thought at the sacred place for the torture she was undergoing-sacred place -indeed the sacred place-where all had come to  snatch "punya" from Gods! And few others had come to SEE THE "TAMASHA OF INDIA", capturing in their lenses  sights which would leave their friends back home gaping, an entertainment deadly enough to frighten their wits out!!


 Bodies abrading,pushing,pulling,fainting,shouting-"Oh My God"! "Why  the hell at  first place did she come here?" Her daughter was distraught when she had heard her mom's plans! In fact she tried to reason it out with  her "It wasn't love-then what was it for which she had come here? She was a highly educated and by this time quite an experienced woman one too but then why this?" But before  her tides of thoughts could find a shore, she was pushed again by the swarms of people trying to reach the destination to be a loved one of the Deity! "Stupid People"! "Ignorant and Superstitious"! she too was doing the same thing-wasn't she?" BUT SHE WAS FORCED-THE SOCIETY FORCED HER but she can not blame the society alone for it-she too was responsible-SHE, YES SHE ,despite being a capable woman,why did she let herself to be drifted by the "rules made for a pious woman !" Well it takes real strength both mental and physical to come out of the DOOM-THE ARENA OF PIETY ETCHED BY THE MEN AND THE HYPOCRITE SOCIETY!

Another push and she was inside the small dingy temple amidst the sprawling jungle-so much sweat,so much noise,sadhus chanting "mantras" for their "yajmanas" like personal customers! Milk mixed "gangajal " with different kinds of fruits were painting the entire place. Flickering flames of "diyas" were the only source of visibility. Everyone was busy to please Gods and to satisfy their wrath on this auspicious "muhurat"!! "How can people be so naive? If sins can be washed this way,what is the need of law?" 

The more she thought,the more her head ached! Suddenly a pair of arms snatched her puja basket  and commanded,"One thousand and one rupees"!She quietly took out the quoted money from her tiny purse hidden in her blouse.She could sense the Pundit's eyes and voice mellowing after seeing the money and was thinking if he had quoted less as there was no bargaining done for lessening the sins!"If a more detailed puja is desired then please take out another fifteen hundred",he quoted again!Demurely, she adhered to this order of his too , as she did not want any trouble!

Priya's patience had by then begin to ebb and was turning into restlessness! She tried to conciliate with LIFE but she can now by this time ,clearly perceive,  failure zooming towards her.Her prayers were answered,she did not have to do any effort to come out of the place. Another timed wave,and she was  out of the sacred zone.... leave aside the temple!To be true.she was automatically,pushed or  literally thrown out!

As she entered the thatched small hut made for the devotees,her mind swirled due to the activities of the entire day-the HOLY DIP of the next morning was still left,"shit", she muttered to herself once again.But whom is she cursing, she had chosen this path on her own. Now she will have to bear the "brunt"! And she is bearing- isn't it otherwise, why would she let herself to be driven by the "herdsmen" of this society...to pray and take dips in the holy water for a person who had always abused,tortured,thrashed her like grains separating her soul from her body just as rice is separated from chaff! THE ONLY THING SHE COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WAS HOW HER PRAYERS ARE GOING TO WASH AWAY "HIS" SINS? How his body can be free from the boils and bleeding blisters growing all over  like mushrooms no less than leprosy!She remembers the nights when he used to abuse and tell her that one day she would suffer for her deeds-but which deeds-she didn't know,neither did he! It was only his another way of emotional abuse! BUT NOW SHE WAS "ARDHANGINI",his better half to share his pain and sins but what about the blows she suffered and languished in lacerating pain,nights after nights...sometimes the nights were so long that it seemed she would never see a "sunshine" in her life-life which had become a dark dungeon for her......

"Ardhangini", "huh",she cursed again and wiped the "sindoor" spread across her forehead,a sign of a pious married woman.At  this age too, she was quite attractive-people still looked at her with admiration! Looking herself in the small mirror she changed into a short sleeveless top and a sarong.Her hands reached out to her "glam bag" to search the "sleeping pills" which she intended to take after the holy dip but instead her fingers tinkled with the bottle of an "English Wine", gifted by one of her ex-students who was recently back from London and had come to see her off at the station! Priya had in fact felt little awkward but she very reassuringly and lovingly said,"Keep it Ma'am. It is a very small gift for what you have done for us!" She could not refuse-children when grow up speak like elders and now Priya thought her student was correct!" She took out the wine bottle stared it but again pushed it back in her purse. She opted to stay awake and wait for the dawn.....the dawn when she would take the holy dip......the dawn when no longer she would be a puppet in anyone's hand neither time or humans.She would drill a path for herself on her own....a path on which though she would walk alone.... be at least peaceful.....away from deceit and deception........serene......tranquil.....!!!AND SURELY SHE NEEDED THE TRUE GODS!

rashmi.


2 comments:

sara-myspace said...

Usually people do not read such long articles. But your writings involved me throughout feeling the emotions and even led me to read another part too.

The feelings through which a women undergoes circumstances pertaining anything considering society, what her family will think, and the way she spoils her ultimate gift by God i.e. the beautiful life is very well said through your writing.

rashmi singh said...

Thanks Sara-what a beautiful name!Thanks for reading and appreciating my work! I raelly don't know how this comes to me but when the emotions come ,i can't stop!AND YES THANKS FOR READING THE FIRST PART!
Yes Sara,true,all women are not so lucky and not appreciated for their work.I really appreciate your feel for those languishing in pain or have gone through,and request the society not to look down upon them!

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